Been on a Hiatious!!!

I haven't blogged in awhile and actually had forgotten that I have a blog. So, much has been going on. However, now I feel it's a must I get back to blogging. It's a great way for me to vent and realize some emotions and things that have just been on my mind.

1st since my daughter has been on summer vaca I have been taking a vaca of my own. No child, no hubby, juse me, myself, and I. I'm using this time to reflect on somethings, feel better about myself, and also spent time with family and friends that I haven't spent alot of time with in recent years. In the month since I've been away I've come out of my shell (feeling better about how I look and changing my style of dressing). I've become more comfortable with wearing my arms out and have started wearing dresses and skirts more! I remember when I first started college I use to wear my arms out, but as the years passed and I put on weight I felt my arms were to big and feared that others would look at me. However, I've noticed that my arms don't look bad, and as for people looking and talking, that's all in my head!!!

2nd Lately I've been missing my dad more and more. My dad passed away when I was 4 as a result of stomach cancer. As I got older it got better, but the last 3 yrs. I've realy been missing him. This past father's day was Extremely Difficult for me!! I mean I know he's in a better place, pain-free, but I just wish he were physically here. So if you have a father that is still alive cherish that!! Even if you don't have the best relationship. There are people like me that wish they could pick up the phone and call their dad, wish they could be held in his arms, and that they could hear his voice JUST ONE MORE TIME!!!!

Me Time

I'm come to the realization over the past few months that I need some serious "ME " Time!! After being with hubby for so long and having our daughter I feel that I've just let myself Go!!! Now more than ever I got to get back to the ole me, the me that took pride in her appearance, the me that had goals and strived to achieve them!! For along time I haven't been happy and I need to find the happiness that is Desparately Missing in my life. If I"m not 100% happy then what good am I to my hubby or my child!! Hopefully, the Me Time will be a big help and I'll find the happiness tha I once had and be made whole again!!!

Feeling Like a Lost Child

My title describes how I'm feeling right now!! I'm feeling this emptiness inside and I don't know why!! I told my hubby earlier today that I just feel empty inside and he has suggested that I see someone. I don't mind going to see someone, but I don't want to be judged nor do I want to be medicated!! Sometimes, I just feel as if I have no purpose in life .

Emotional Roll-a-coaster

It's been awhile since I've last blogged, and I must say I've Missed It!! I'm going through some emotional things right now, and I've been kinda feeling that I need to get back to Release what I"ve been feeling!!! Today, for some reason off and on I've been in thid Funk!! I woke up this morning feeling kinda of down, why? I guess life and me not being pleased with myself right now. Today, I went through alot of what if's and regrets!! I've cried a lot today, and it has helped, but the pain is still there. Sometimes I just really no longer want to the Responsibilities of Adult Life!! I wish at times I could be back at home with my mom and only had to worry about ME!!! I did go and volunteer today (made me fee a little better), did a little shopping, treated myself to lunch!! I got home talked with my hubby for a little bit and shut myself in our bedroom for a little bit. I was crying, talking to God,  and listening to William McDowell (Give Myself Away). The phone rang it was my cousin that!! We talked about stuff, laughed, and she just listened. I must say after talking and laughing with her I felt much better!! Her phone call was definitely right on time!!  I really don't know what the real root of this emotional roll-a-coaster that I'm on is, but I do know tha something must give!!

People, Please Pay more Attention!!!

Okay, today my daughter and I were innocently traveling to the laundry mat when out of nowhere this idiot pulls out in front of me. Luckily and by the grace of GOD I was able to stop in time!!! No one was hurt, Thank GOd, and no cars were damaged!!! Afterwards, I was shaken up a little bit, but otherwise okay. My daughter was OK. she found a ladybug when we were in the yard and was playing with it at the time. That's why I titled my post, Pay more Attention!!! Clearly, the guy wasn't pay attention because if he was he wouldn't have pulled out in front of me!!! I mean our front bumpers could have kissed one another (I stopped that close to his vehicle)!!! It was no one but God that prevented me from hitting his vehicle... I braked with all my might to prevent from doing so!!

What Happened to "Respecting Others!!"

Okay, it's been a minute since I've blogged, but never the less I'm back!!! Let me first start off by saying I'm a pretty easy going chick and don't bother anyone unless I"m pushed to do so. I try my hardest to respect others and especially Respect their relationships!! Having said this others don't!! Okay, hubby had this employee (female). To make some extra money I had her come and clean my house a couple of times, but the last time I wasn't pleased so....I told hubby I didn't want her to clean my house anymore. Hell, if I'm going to pay you, do the job right! Don't half ass do stuff!! Anyway, off topic!!

So...a couple of months ago I see a text on his phone and she's asking him for money!! Where dey do dat at? I politely texted her back and told her not to text my husband anymore asking him for money!!! Saw no more texts...Okay, today I hear him talking to his assistant and he asks her, "has your girl called you?" Didn't hear her response, but he responds she sent me a text asking for money.. Livid was my mood at this point!! So... I ask him did she text him and he responds, "yes!!" I say I want u to text her and tell her to stop texting you and tell her that I SAID SO!! He did so and she hasn't texted him since, but my thing is who does this chick think she is?!!! Okay, you worked for my husband, cool ya'll talked about different issues, but ask him for money, HELL NO!! Now, the type of person I am I wanted to find her and KICK her ASS!!! Why? Because this is oh so wrong on so manyyyyy levels!! You don't dare ask another woman's man for money!!! Okay!!!! you got your own man, ask him!! Now, do I blam hubby, yes. Why? Because he could have nipped this in the bud from the beginning and told her don't ask me for money, it's very disrespectful to do so!! I'm still a little heated behind this and I have been very tempted to call my cousin (can always count on her) and do a serious BEAT DOWN!! Some might say oh, she's going to FAR, but she's gone to far by disrepecting not only me as a woman, but my marriage!! We (some) have got to have more respect for the sanctity of others' relationships!! So officially, Maria (that's her name) has been placed VERY HIGH on my doo-doo list!!!

Change can make you have a better mindset!!

Okay, I've been laid-off since Sept. 10, and since we are down to one reliable income source I'm learning to become more frugal with our money. What am I doing? Couponing and learning to cook more at home!! If you haven't started couponing I Strongly Suggest that you Do!!! I have saved sooooo much from doing so. For ex. this week at Harris Teeter is Super doubles week ( 1.50 coupon is doubled to 3.00) before any coupons or saving from using my vic card my balance was $98 and some change. Well after coupons and vic savings I only paid $24.03 out of pocket. What did I get? Well, I got milk, yogurt, danimal smoothies, strawberries, egg rolls, rice, chicken breasts,cereal, spices, and some other stuff but can't remember. Because of the super doubling at Harris Teeter I got my milk, yogurt, smoothies, rice, and cereal for free. Through couponing and blogs my whole outlook on things has changed. Instead of going out to eat alot we usually just come home and eat.

 I'm also trying to do a meal plan each week. The meal plan does help. You don't have to stick to it persay (can choose to switch what you're cooking). This week I planned our meals around what I already had in my fridge and cabinets so, when I wtn grocery shopping I didn't have to buy much meat. Our budget is usually $60 but this week I only spent about $40 (fruits and veggies included).